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A Completely Useless Guide to A Horrible Noise

HORRIBLE NOISE     The New Kid    HORRIBLE DEMO    mp3s    H D

     Hello, again, eyeballs. This is your completely useless guide to A HORRIBLE NOISE! If you feel you have reached this page through some apocalyptic split in the time/space continuum please feel free to PANIC. I know I would. Otherwise, continue to marvel at the utter uselessness of the guide before you.

     Let me take this opportunity to remark your bravery is remarkable, your taste is questionable, and your curiosity is going to be rewarded handsomely. As you can see above, this site has many layers designed to inform and protect you. The 4 satellite sites listed (in Blue) are the pages created to present the A Horrible Noise Limited Edition Compact Discs of the same name. These sites are not alone. There are about a dozen sites nestled together beneath this humble page, each one carefully constructed by someone who could easily find something better to do. I know your thinking, “The Horror!” I have to agree. If you should chose to continue to stare at this mind control device, don’t forget there are about 233 other pages lying in wait to alter your DNA. I know your thinking, “UGH”, and rightly so.

      I think the most important thing to understand about A Horrible Noise is that it is a paranoid MUSICIAN’S creation.  IT is designed to mesmerize you while the real problems facing society get ignored. Therefore, there are over 32 songs available, scattered, splattered and crushed below this site, to stimulate your aural receptors, and each one is completely and uniquely A HORRIBLE NOISE. Unlike the popular music of this day, the songs included here do not all sound the same. I know your thinking, “The Shame!” I am not surprised or disappointed.

      Furthermore, I must warn you, there is also the tedious story of our singular future called All That Glitters is not Gold (Alice Reloaded). You are encouraged to ignore IT. IT is very poorly written, confusing as hell and is unlike any of the tired old rubbish you are expected to read before freshman year at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. I know you will agree IT is entirely, wholly worthless, for the most part. 

     Sadly, I regret it is my duty to inform you our guide has only one more ridiculous claim to make. I know your thinking, “Wonderful!” IT is this... If you don’t see a play bar magixally suspended high above the Statuary on this page, you need an almost COMPLETELY FREE APPLE FOR PC QUICKTIME PLAYER (Quick Time Player) to make the bells, whistles and downloads go BOOM! Without this simple, easy 2 install, 2 dimensional, 20th Century listening device your delicate ears will not be 3 to enjoy the noise I have made 4 you. And this, trust me, is a Tragedy, because the Quick Time player is obsolete.  It was a corporate decision.

                                                                          Later, the Count

P.S. Singularity Sucks!

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