She said, “I thought you were leaving for them.” She looked at Christine and then at me. “I hope you two know what you’re doing,” was all she said. It was enough to let me know she thought I was out of my mind. She had never questioned my judgement before, so I guess my first betrayal must have felt like a slap in her face. She knew I was changing the equation that held the troupe together. All as one. All are one. It usually didn’t mean anything, was no big deal, if a relationship started between two performers, but Michelle knew Christine would be unmanageable if I gave her an easy way into the band. Of coarse Christine had talent, but she had already shown Megan enough attitude to sink her chances of acceptance, and Michelle knew this would only make things worse. What she wanted to say was I know you’re fucking up. Don’t cry to me when your dreams are dashed. Christine and I left the club without talking to anyone else. I noticed daggers flying out at us from Megan’s general direction.

     When we were outside the club Christine said “Lets go to Battersea.”

     I said,”Lead on.” I was without a plan I was relieved that Christine had some place to go. I was wrestling with the demons in the back of my mind. They stuck me with a thousand poisoned pins, particularly painfully poignant were the reminders that Michelle was not with us anymore. We had precious few allies. Less than zero.

     It was the worst possible time to be leaving the club. Most of the business men and families were already heading home, which meant that the road blocks, and militias would soon be assembled. In a couple of hours the show would be starting up back at Dwnwrdspyrl. If the Militias caught Count Beat out, especially on a night the band was playing, I would be lucky to be released before dawn. Michelle would have to be involved to work through the official papers, a waste of her valuable time, and if I got charged for any offense, it might take weeks for her to loosen the screws. It all got more complicated if I was caught in Battersea, because I had a restricted movement pass, which meant I needed a damn good reason to be out of Rockwood at all. “My girlfriend asked me to come”, would not cut it.

     All of this was beginning to sink in as we walked along the sidewalk outside the club. We were walking, hand in hand, along the street that Dwnwrdspyrl faced, and toward the Bible Study University. The sun was setting, and I couldn’t help myself, in a moment of lucidity I said to Christine, “Hold on a second, there’s going to be a road blocks up ahead. If not now, certainly when we come back. Maybe you can waltz right through the jaws of death, but I can’t. I thought you realized I only have a restricted pass. I’m not a banker. If they get their hands on my ass, I won’t be going anywhere tonight. If they think we are together, there will be no telling what will happen to you. Lets go have some drinks at Automatic Slim’s, at least there we won’t have to speak through the bars of cages.”

     Christine didn’t listen. She said, “Hurry up silly. We’re going to miss the bus.”

     I said, “Now hold on, Baby. What bus? What are you talking about?”

     Christine grabbed me and pulled me along. She said, “The Magic Bus. Now hurry up or we’ll have to wait an hour for the next one. Haven’t ya’ll ever been on the inter-campus shuttle. You really ought to get out of your coffin more often. Here, I printed this up for you. I knew we were going to be together. Now do you understand?”

     She pushed a movement pass into my free hand. As we walked along the street I gazed down at it to see what on earth my little rabbit was talking about. I was amazed to see my face peering out at me from the card. It was a teacher’s all campus pass. Apparently, I was now a tutor in Classical Lit., and Christine was in a hurry for the acquisition of high knowledge.

    I said, “This will never work. All the militia’s know me around here. They will see right through this Sunshine, and the bastards will stop at nothing to find out how I got this pass.”

     She was still not slowing down. She said, “They won’t ask how you got the pass, silly. They all know me too! They will know exactly where you got the pass. Now come on, we’re running out of time.”

     That was enough for me, I had to stop. My head was spinning. I was trying to grasp the situation but it remained illusive. I said, “Wait a second.” I had to hold Christine from slipping away and pull her back to me. “The militias know you forge documents? They know who you are, and they let you travel anywhere in the city with known activists. Who the fuck are you!?

     “Can’t all this wait?” Christine moaned.

     “No period exclamation point, nada.”

     Christine smiled at me like a cat. She looked a bit like a kid with her hand in the cookie jar. I was wondering if she was going to say anything, She looked at the ground. She looked at the street. Finally, she said, “You won’t believe me.”

     I said, “Try me.”

     She said, “If I tell you, I will have to kill you.”

     I said, “I’m already dead. It’s not as bad as they say.”

     She said hesitantly, “You have to promise not to get mad.”

     I said impatiently, “Mad about what?’

     She said, ”I’m the Governor’s daughter.”

     She said, “You look a little pale, are you alright?” I sat down on the curb while she was talking, The hot fumes and heat from the pavement blasted you in the face every time a vehicle passed. It was almost unbearable. “Don’t be so dramatic.” Christine continued the barrage. “I’m only his stepdaughter, anyway, I get to follow my own star. It’s not like he owns me. Count..., you look like a wreck. Really, its no big deal. Come on, I’ve seen what you can do. You’re an artist, let me show you what I can do. I want you to write for me. You don’t have to struggle. Why does everything have to be so difficult?” She pulled on my sleeve, “Let’s go! We’re running out of time.”

     I don’t know how the story might have ended if I had been able to go with her and leave everything hanging by a thread. Maybe Christine was trying to get me out of a jam. Maybe she could have gotten me through road blocks and into Battersea, but she seemed too naive. She was Sunshine and light, and I was a creature of the night. I couldn’t believe the Governor was going to give me an out. Jesus, I was trying to change the madness, not become a party to it. Now, I knew why Christine acted like she always got her way. It wasn’t an act at all. She came on like a train because no one had ever stopped her, until now.

     Christine must have sensed I was slipping. She came over to me, sat down and pulled me towards her. She said, “You aren’t going to play with me are you?”

     I said, “Sunshine I’m way out of my depth.” I wiped my forehead on my sleeve. “This isn’t some kind of game. I need some time to get my bearings. How do you know The Governor is not concerned about what you do? Have you asked him about us? Does he know you have come to the club?” I answered myself, “Of coarse he knows you’ve been to the club.” I was beginning to get dizzy again. “Hell, he probably knows we’re sitting here now.” I looked around for cameras. There was one on every lamp post. The street smelled of unused fuel, like we were in a petroleum jungle. I sighed. “Don’t you understand?”