The Biography
                                                                                            Count Down                                                                                          
   Count Beat has been rehearsing for shows since he was 6. First on piano, then as a dancer, next as a goblin, later in the choir, then on trombone, then again as an android, and lately as the Ice Cream Man he has had many opportunities to play and perform for people. In drums he found something that would combine the physical nature of dance with the creative beauty of music. Drums could also be heard around the block without an amplifier. He fell in love with the Noise. It was his father who first asked the Count, "What is that Horrible Noise?" Our proud young Count smiled and simply replied,"yes". There have been many rehearsals since then, and many shows. Many times the Count found himself being evicted because of his relentless drumming and rock-n-roll lifestyle. It was just another Noise complaint. The number of bands that the man has loaded his kit into cases for reaches toward a hundred, yet the Count is always ready to lay down another beat. He shares his living room with the drums, his bedroom with the bass. According to ancient Chinese manuscripts, written by his own hand, the Count said, "Yes Grass Smoker, once the drums and bass have locked in, the rest is cream on the pie". Many people have said, "don't get between the Count and a fork". And they mean it. When asked his age the Count says, "age ain't nothing but a number... a large number."
     Years of touring and performing have provided him with many repressed memories and many opportunities to study crowd behavior and crowd control. From  classic rock [before it was classic], to industrial, to tribal [before it was tribal], to gospel, to country, to incorrigible, interminable jams, to jazz, to classical, to broadway, the Count has been there, and yet at every stop something was missing. Every gig was entertaining but few were elevating. Music is just another mind-numbing experience, another opiate of the masses if all it does is distract people from their problems. Out of the hundreds of bands and jams there was no outlet for the Count's intense rhythms and political rhymes. The Count had a desire to use music as outlet for social comment in the beginning years of the century. That was a period of time, in case you don't recall, when if you weren't with America in War you were against us. It was a time when few were calling into question the President's motivation. But all that has thankfully changed. When these songs were written not many were speaking out for prisoner’s rights, so the Count proceeded alone.
    Originally from a super continent that no longer exists, the Count has the insight into the heart of the American Dream that only an immigrant alien can have. After crossing the Iberian peninsula before anyone new what it was, the Count arrived in the new world and wept with joy. He was raised in the south before the south was dirty, even before the carpetbaggers got into Nasty Car. Race, religion, sex, fried chicken... he is familiar with the American version of these obsessions.  He has lived with us at least 400,000 dog years... observing, taking notes, learning to walk on two legs. He saw Black Sabbath in London with Van Halen opening the show in '78. The Count has some very strong old school cred, but he has also embraced new technology and music. His studio has the latest digital hardware and software allowing a revolution in his ability to get from ideas to production. Songs and arrangements have come together that were impossible for the Count to relate while he was being relied upon for time-keeping. He is writing songs that are out of the mainstream, but that expose the American condition. He also doesn't give a fuck whether the message is white-washed enough for mass consumption. He doesn't want to be an American Idolator. He wants to laugh at the silly idols. like with a rebel yell, ya'll. I'd like to meet his tailor.
    There is much more to the live music experience than meets the eye. The front man has tremendous powers of persuasion and a tremendous opportunity to communicate with the audience. The Count is using his first solo disc as a platform for ideas and creativity that no other musical group on earth would accept. To challenge an audience and indict them is often referred to as artistic suicide. It’s not what a band usually tries to do. It’s a tragedy for musicians to be out of style. Why make A Horrible Noise? That is not going to get you fans or fortunes. Not being commercial or popular allows you a lot more freedom though, you remember... freedom of expression. Freedom to say what you want when you want is at the heart of the Count’s message, some call it A Horrible Noise. The Count calls it, “ a very personal message of outrage and hope. Outrage at the sheepish acceptance of war crimes and business as usual, and hope for an America free of plutocracy masquerading as democracy.”
    Through the centuries the world has seen amazing transformations, some for the better, but many not. The America the Count knew is gone, along with the forests and the fields. Somewhere along the way they were replaced by something harder, greedy, less understanding, more intolerant. The Count thinks this sucks. He is trying to help America find its way in the universe before the earth is altered in a Horrible way by shortsighted former oil executives and their spawn. Believe him when he says alien anthropologists don't find surviving civilizations that have developed nuclear weapons. It just doesn't happen. They find radioactive debris. The reason that the Martians don't come visit us is that we scare the piss out of them. Please help the Count make the world a safe place for aliens to visit again. You'll be glad you did. You're going to love the green chicks.